Remember your innocent toddler asking you who made the moon? Who put the stars in the sky? Where do babies come from? 

Those years seem to drag when you can't sway the preschooler to eat his peas. Fast forward to the teenager wanting to get pierced and  time has appeared to run off with your prescious bundle 'O joy. Where did those years fly off to? Who is this stranger and why are they calling me "Mom/Dad?"

 As if protecting them from harm was  not enough of a knuckle biting experience. Now they want to deliberately have a hole made in their body and pass jewelry through it to boot? What happened to their fear off needles? They clung to you when they got their MMR series at the pediatrician.

As a body piercer and parent of two teenagers, let me help you out.

Between 13 and 17 years of age, your teen is experiencing ongoing physical, cognitive and  emotional changes. The teen years seem to be marked by shifting changes, sometimes marked by unpredicatability which may frighten parents. Peer pressure, sexuality, drivers license, school grades and friends are influences that cannot be denied.

Adolescence is truly a time where teens are on a road of self discovery and identity. Fortunately, up until this time, they have had you to model their behavior after. Now they may seem to pull away and identify with their peers and go in another direction that can appear foreign to the parent/s. Your once predictable child comes home from school and announces they will never ask you for another thing EVER if you will allow them to get their (FILL IN THE BLANK) pierced.

I remember when my children thought my navel and nostril piercing was "gay." Which I translated to mean "stupid". Then, one day, my daughter announced she wanted to double pierce her ears. Then triple, and so on. I felt it was harmless and we agreed to pick out tasteful jewelry and keep on top of properly caring for said piercings. It went well. Then she asked for her navel to be pierced. Benign enough. So I did the piercing. She healed it with the requisite care. For some reason, she took the jewelry out and it healed. Then she asked to have it pierced again. I did so, but she did not listen to me (imagine that!) and went into chlorinated water that same week. Sure enough the piercing had to be retired until further notice. We repierced it later, and she had learned from the consequences of not following Mom's advice. That's a good thing. Part of developing the teen mind.

Then she asked: Can you pierce my nostril? Can you give me a labret piercing? Can you pierce my rook (cartilage). All went swimingly well. No pun. At age 19, she has removed them all on her own accord. No major holes are visible.  She is in college and seems to be doing just fine.

My son followed suit. He found buddah and with buddah is the admiration for those big gauged out ear lobes with natural wood jewelry. Let's not forget the septum - oh and the tattoo.

Through all of the piercings, these teens learned about consequences to their actions. Public perception to piercings (which can be positive or negative) and it taught them to not be so quick to judge others.

 So your teen wants you to sign for a piercing. It can be a learning experience as well as a bonding time for parents and teens if they work together and agree on basic limitations and rules: how to properly follow directions in maintaining the health of the piercing; setting limits on the appearance/gauge of the piercing; consequences in the home if the rules are not followed.

Some friendly advice: talk to your teen about your fears about piercing. Ask them to show you exactly what they want to have done. Ask them to explain (in detail) the procedure and aftercare of the piercing. It is amazing to see them start talking excitedly whereas they may have been exhibiting some of the standard teen sulleness. This can be a portal to opening up discussion between the parent and teen.

Call the piercing shop and ask them for a consultation to discuss the piercing and implications with both your teen and you. Set up a time rather than walking in off the street. By scheduling a time, you will not feel rushed and the piercer will have time to address concerns and interest.

Some parents feel a bit nervous or frightened when going into a piercing establishment. The good news is that the piercer appreciates your concern so long as you are not defensive and vocal about your distaste for piercing. It is highly embarrassing for a teen to have their parent/s announce to the piercer (and other customers in the shop) that they do not approve of their teen getting a piercing, but are going to allow it. If you feel those words sneaking out, please take a deep breath and take a look at the people you are telling this to. Remember where you are. It's akin to walking into a biker bar and yelling out, "I HATE MOTORCYCLES!" Also remember that teens don't like to have their parent make a fool of themselves, and let's face it: nothing we do is cool when we are parents. My advice is to have a calm discussion about this well before you come in to the shop. Arguing in front of customers, the piercer or customers is very uncomfortable for all. If you feel an argument with your teen coming on, please redirect the issue at hand into something positive or take it outside until you can come to a meeting of the minds.

 If you are completely unhappy with the idea and do not want to sign for your teen to be pierced and wait while they have the piercing done, then perhaps it is a good time to tell them "NO" rather than having it become a public battle.